keep conversations clean

I’d like to give my take on having clean conversations with others. What I mean by clean is that we listen without distractions from within and from the outside. Distractions from within are like our own values, beliefs, ideas, experiences or preferences. Distractions from outside means actual physical, noise or visual distractions.

By having a clean conversation with someone, especially when he or she means a lot to us, we’d have deeper understanding for each other, higher levels of  rapport and trust and a strong sense of togetherness and bonding. These benefits form the fundamentals of human relations and well-being.

Let us have clean conversations at all times and enjoy quality relational benefits!

creating new habits

The main outcome we’d want for learning ways to improve self or work competencies is to form new habits or new ways of living or working. So lets be quite clear that the ultimate purpose is to form new habits! Motivation enables us to learn and endurance enables us to persist until new habits are formed. And with new habits, we adopt new behaviors. And with new behaviors, we can achieve better results that we longed for.

What I observed is that most learners learnt and understood their learning materials but they don’t really apply them or use them frequently enough to form new habits. I belief that we don’t really change a habit but we “replace” them with a new one. Its like starving the old habit and feeding the new one.

Learners need to be accountable and take responsibilities from the learning stage to the application stage. Besides themselves, no one else can assure that happens.

So, the next time we step into a training or learning room or have conversations about training or coaching, be aware of the outcome which is to form new habits that governs our behaviors that enable us to reach our life, personal or professional goals.

do what we love

One surest way to fulfillment is to do what we love passionately.

Passion may be defined as a combination of doing what we love and what we can do very well. So, lets start from the fundamental foundation ie find out what we love to do and can do it very well.

Once that’s established, map out all of our resources (time & efforts) and align ourselves toward fulfilling our passion. Then think of what is the end result of it all eg improve mankind, enjoy our own lives, help others to live better, make the world a better place, improve young adults way of thinking…etc.

Whatever it is, our end result must be ground shaking grand…extraordinary…audacious! With such level of end results, we’d be highly motivated to act on our passion with sustainability and fire deep within us!

I’ll leave this thought with you and now the ball is in your court. Do or not do? Your choice…

alignment

Sometimes we are caught in situations when we are conflicted within. We know we should do this but end up doing otherwise. We may feel guilty afterwards but we may choose to do it again the next time.

Such conflict occurs because we are not aligned within. We are intellectually build whether we know it or not. All of us are endowed with it. Our greatest driving force is our values and beliefs. Such virtues are cultivated in our growing years by our parents and family members and later on our teachers and classmates at school.

Values and beliefs drive our learning, adopting such learnings and translating them into actions (behaviors). Hence, our values and beliefs ultimately drive our actions (behaviors). And our behaviors either enable or detract us from our dreams in life.

Therefore, with our virtuous values and strong beliefs which are aligned with passionate and resolute actions we create a wholesome character and significant identity. And with it all, we can and will eventually reach our dreams for our lives.

So, let us align our actions and behaviors with our values and beliefs. It will smoothen our life’s journey and make it worth to self and others!

changing channel

At times we may be disappointed or sad about what someone said about us or done to us. We may wallow in self-pity or we can rise up and take control of how we feel about it.

I’d change channel in my mind. I feed my mind with good thoughts (like current or recent encouragements from people) and starve my mind of the bad thoughts (like bad comments or actions of others).

Our minds can focus on one thing at a time especially when it is of high impact mentally and emotionally. I find that confiding in someone we trust helps too. We gain new perspectives that strengthen our resolve to move on and leave the “mental and emotional baggages” behind.

So, be aware of such “attacks”; seek to change channel; seek counsel of a trusted; and move on!

when the student is ready; the teacher shows up

I love that that old quote. I learnt it in my primary school. Never knew it would be so true now…

I experience it in a few ways.

Firstly as a learner. I found that when I refuse to accept people’s advise or teachings, not only do I miss opportunities to learn and be better, I frustrate them and they go away or stop sharing their wisdom. To overcome it, I decided to humble myself, set my mindset to acknowledge that there are many things I can learn from anybody and be a good listener.

Secondly as a coach and trainer. I felt and observed that when I share information or facilitate a coaching session, I am more sensitive and understanding towards my audience. I put myself in their positions or perspectives. I don’t judge them. I give them space to “catch up” in their own timing. By the way, some are innovators, ie who accepts quickly and apply them. Some are early adopters who accepts upon more analysis. Some are late adopters who accepts after the early adopters, and laggards who refuse to change whatsoever!

Thirdly as a person who seek to acquire values for life and principles for living, I adopt the mindset of life long learning. There are so much to learn to be a better person. A better person in all areas of my life: career (vocation), financial, family, social, friends and health.

Lets be a ready student to enable the teachers in our lives to show up and enhance our lives and simplify them for our maximum joy!

learn & apply continuously

Everyday I learn something new. Not because I am cleverer or smarter or special. Its because I am “hungry”. Hungry to know how to become a better person by learning and applying values for life and principles for living!

I am experiencing inner-fulfillment and joy whenever I grow from the inside out…I get excited and can’t wait to apply my learnings.

I experiment with my new learnings as often as I could in as many chances I have; eg after I learnt the impact of voice tonality during communication, I used two different tonalities when I ordered at McDs and got different responses from the same server. I appreciate him for being patient with me (and he might be thinking I may be having a personality disorder!). And I learnt a lot from this scenario.

The point is be eager to learn and be even more eager to practice what we learnt. A whole new world may open for us! Try it!!!