our true character is like tea; it taste best under hot water

True character, attitude or behavior is revealed under pressure or stressful life situations. It could be in our personal or professional area.

Most people (at times i dared say all people) live lives with masks. Portraying all things are okay when they are not. Its really very paradoxical in that if we say we are not okay, most people will back off (maybe they’d be thinking they have enough problems of their own).

However, if we say that we are fine, or okay or so-so; at times we’d say ‘could be better’, people may may patronize us or judge us in the wrong way ie their own way rather than gathering more facts behind our words and get to the real reason(s).

Lets be frank, life in general, living with people, family and colleagues for example, can be stressful at times. And one thing I have lived through also observed in my friends and colleagues, those of us have been working consciously and hard in developing a balance character based on strong values for life and principles for living have been able to sail through pressurizing and stressful situations.

Values for life and principles for living are like integrity and accountability; integrity that ensures we are honest and sincere in every dealings with fellow human being whereas accountability that ensures we mean what we say and say what we mean…

I’d like to excitedly encourage you to adopt your personal values for life and principles for living. Create habits of applying your own values and principles. In 1 week you’ll see the difference; in 2 weeks people will see the difference; in 3 weeks the whole world will see the difference!!!

 

unconscious inner voice

We will never know how resilient we are until we are stretched and tested. Hence, during an immensely challenging situation, soldier on bravely till the very end. We always come out on the other end better, braver, smarter and richer (experience). Motivation is the starter. Endurance is the fuel that enables us to finish the race.

My conscious mind normally would tell me to stop it, I can’t make it, it is not worth it etc. And I have learnt to replace these thoughts or ‘noise of distractions’ with my inner unconscious soothing, assuring and protective  voice that says ‘..go on, you can do it…you have always been able to…run the good race… Over the years, I have learnt to trust my inner unconscious voice. It is personal. It is me!

Get in touch with your unconscious inner voice. Let it guide you on your journey. It is very personal and you’ll love it!

leading people

One common trait I see in leaders over the years is that they all lead people and do not manage them.

There is a distinction between leading and managing people. I think the main one is that when we lead, we do so in a humanely manner and uphold our followers dignity and respect their personal dreams. We constantly keep our ultimate goals in mind whilst leading our followers in the best possible ways to move towards the goals for mutual gains and growth. With such leading approaches, followers give their all because they feel justified and passionate to contribute to a worthy leader towards a worthy cause and goal.

When leaders “manage” their followers, they’d be directing them as if they are fixed assets or ‘robotic’, people without feelings or aspirations. It is like the saying that goes ‘if we manage with a hammer, everything will look like a nail’. We can get much out of this style. We just get more frustrated and stressed.

As leaders, we need to be more psychologically savvy. Learn to understand people’s ways of thinking, feeling and acting (behaving). Learn how to build rapport with them to build our leadership trustworthiness and gain their trust. Always putting ourselves in their shoes, seeing, hearing and feeling things from their perceptions. Only then, we would enjoy the bliss of working with them and building lasting relationships.

Lets lead people in the right way!